Thursday, March 9, 2017

This is Scary, and That's Good


I’m back.

And I’m excited.

The #aweekwithoutperfect experiment went well (if you call stripping away a barrier you never knew existed, much less to what extent, that protected you but not really because it actually makes life a little dull “well”), and its lessons stuck with me.

  • I paid more attention to my thoughts. (Positive thinking.)
  • I re-assessed friendships. (Emotional labor.)
  • I sought out deeper conversations. (Vulnerability.)
  • I tried new activities. (Failure.)
  • I analyzed what I think I’ve been told to want versus what I know makes me happy. (Motivation.)
  • I observed my grudges. (Forgiveness.)
  • I followed my gut. (Action.)
  • I vocalized my wants and needs. (Self-leadership.)
  • I saw my distaste for others as its true reflection of my own disappointments. (Perception.)
  • I confronted excuses. (Adulting.)
  • I realized how many expectations I thought I had to meet. (Inferiority.)
  • I right-sized expectations. (Frustration.)
  • I stopped attributing malicious intent to others’ behavior. (Judgmental.)
  • I embraced what I have, not what I don’t have. (Gratitude.)
  • I realized that it’s not personal – whatever it is. (Spotlight effect.)
  • I let go of things that weighed me down. (Minimalism.)
  • I set out without a plan. (Creativity.)
  • I love how unique I am. (Acceptance.)   
  • I allowed myself to feel joy. (Being present.)
  • I addressed discomfort before my head could spin up stories. (Crucial conversations.)
  • I breathed deeply. (Air.)
  • I had fun. (Truth.)
  • I surprised my anger. (Compassion.)
  • I didn't try to be anyone else. (Comparison.)
  • I believe that I can live my truth. (Joy.)
  • I allowed my emotions to express themselves. (Peace.)
  • I preserved quiet time. (Restoration.)
  • I smiled during good times. (Happiness.)

Observing the perfectionism, chipping away at its barrier, and letting some light in to my heart chakra lead to a path of growth I had only read about. Affirmations don’t work when they are just covering up stinky trash, and my trash stunk (stinks) of shame, anger, and inferiority.

I am unstuck.