This is Scary, and That's Good

I’m back.

And I’m excited.

The #aweekwithoutperfect experiment went well (if you call stripping away a barrier you never knew existed, much less to what extent, that protected you but not really because it actually makes life a little dull “well”), and its lessons stuck with me.

• I paid more attention to my thoughts. (Positive thinking.)
• I re-assessed friendships. (Emotional labor.)
• I sought out deeper conversations. (Vulnerability.)
• I tried new activities. (Failure.)
• I analyzed what I think I’ve been told to want versus what I know makes me happy. (Motivation.)
• I observed my grudges. (Forgiveness.)
• I followed my gut. (Action.)
• I vocalized my wants and needs. (Self-leadership.)
• I saw my distaste for others as its true reflection of my own disappointments. (Perception.)
• I confronted excuses. (Adulting.)
• I realized how many expectations I thought I had to meet. (Inferiority.)
• I right-sized expectations. (Frustration.)
• I stopped attributing malicious intent to others’ behavior. (Judgmental.)
• I embraced what I have, not what I don’t have. (Gratitude.)
• I realized that it’s not personal – whatever it is. (Spotlight effect.)
• I let go of things that weighed me down. (Minimalism.)
• I set out without a plan. (Creativity.)
• I love how unique I am. (Acceptance.)   
• I allowed myself to feel joy. (Being present.)
• I addressed discomfort before my head could spin up stories. (Crucial conversations.)
• I breathed deeply. (Air.)
• I had fun. (Truth.)
• I surprised my anger. (Compassion.)
• I didn't try to be anyone else. (Comparison.)
• I believe that I can live my truth. (Joy.)
• I allowed my emotions to express themselves. (Peace.)
• I preserved quiet time. (Restoration.)
• I smiled during good times. (Happiness.)

Observing the perfectionism, chipping away at its barrier, and letting some light in to my heart chakra lead to a path of growth I had only read about. Affirmations don’t work when they are just covering up stinky trash, and my trash stunk (stinks) of shame, anger, and inferiority.

I am unstuck.